roadrunner

liars; hustlers; piety and innocents;

all concocted imaginary tags that elicit made up play thingies in our brains to explain this weird amalgamation of fucked up, primal, oh not so advanced emotions yet going through break neck speed of advancement on the smorgasbord called the universe. We over estimate our lives while undermining others. We are all part of this very simple yet difficult to explain principal-agent paradox where we are the principals of our life while expecting everyone else to be our agents and not understanding that the other person feels the same about you. The four words I used up top are just the first four that propped up in my head. They can be any science-forsaken words that make sense to you and the same principle will apply.

Do you understand how minutely irrelevant we are not just to each other but at the grand scheme of things? Trying to form, refine and then breed values first in ourselves and then in our offsprings. We are irrelevant. So are our opinions. But in this insight of irrelevance, there is freedom. Freedom to be open to experiences. Experiences that need to get the hormones (the only important aspect of this biological body that who gives a fuck once it stops functioning is cremated, buried, boiled up, fed to eagles or put into a science-damn wood chipper and spread all over the a jungle so at least it contributes in death to the food chain; a great contribution indeed!) all riled up and moved; so, for while your quick to jump conclusion would be testosterone for me (and you won’t be wrong given the stud muffin I am) and a concoction (of the best kind) of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone (shocker, right!?) in women, the hormone I am more interested in is : Adrenaline ! And when you are speaking about those you care about around you : dopamine. Just love, mother-truckers. After science knows how many bouts (and rounds) of experiences, miles spent going without a phone on the streets of New York to Krabi, the only insight I had was that the one thing that binds all of us together is love (which also releases the two in abundance). Love can solve wars, make you break bread with your enemy (and trust me, from where I come, I am mostly sitting around them all the time), and on the worse days, be the support you need to get up, person up and improve things. I have been lucky, and oh so full of gratitude about the love I have received (and tried to give back) in all relationships I have been a part of in my life; all the way from being a son, brother, friend, lover, husband and soon to be father. But they are also just that: tags; tags that I created for myself to serve my values and give me a reason to being. The raison detre. These are just some of those weird insights you can have when you are alone, having watched a good documentary, have mentally decided to take the next big step in your life, and are full of adrenaline and dopamine. And when your wheels are turning so perfectly, you type the fuck away. If you are reading this and have ever been a part of my life (Again, overestimating my image of myself! I have no alternative point of reference to do otherwise) , know I am grateful, full of love and warmth and request you to just have experiences that entice your soul. Take risks. Love completely again even if it has shattered you before. For once, do fuck around and find out. Make mistakes. And just be on the pursuit of experiences that are conducive to your adrenaline and dopamine.

roadrunner.