philosophizing before i become rich
before my hair turns grey; before i sell out
for right now what i feel, i have existed before this
and beyond this point my existence will be different
i will feel different; i will know different.
the fallacies will be more evident, the tics more difficult to control
it has been a minute though: seems like yesterday when i was flying off ladders
jumping with pillows and breaking mattresses
seems like yesterday when i was preparing for road trips and riding around town on my scooter
seems like yesterday; and the realization that today will be yesterday tomorrow
let me breathe for a minute, take it all in: release
for what i feel now and how i feel it will never exist
it will be lost in the very existence of its being
it will be gone like the dew drops by afternoon.
perished like those laughs of those long dead
destroyed by the corruptibility of tomorrow and while fighting those that don’t play fair
it does seem like it has been a minute when i had things in control
it does seem like the faces are lost in the forever-ness of their un-kept promises
sometimes i feel i still have a song in me
and sometimes it feels i have lost the rhymes
though they come back to me when i flip through the pages of my memories
some words i mumble, some i remember clearly
tear drops on the canvas that was kept clean because the brush was lost
now i have the brush, but there is no imagination left.
wrinkles, where there were lipstick marks
silence where there were words and laughter
the only constant that has stayed is me.
and these thoughts that change but stay the same…..
it has been a minute since i prayed.